Deeper Love...

I am in this season right now where everything is different. My own heart seems different to me and it has been and is going everywhere I have gone and am going. I was able to sit down today for about 10 minutes and just think. It was in this 10 minute period that He reminded me of when I was in Africa this summer. He reminded me of the first couple of weeks that I was there. Nothing in Pemba was familiar. Not even the way I would worship my King. Nothing around me, nothing inside of me was at all familiar. The only thing I could cling tightly too was HIM. He is always familiar. He is always gazing into my eyes with pure and holy passion for my hand to be in His.



I am in an unfamiliar place. Not really anything seems to be normal to me. It is like I was just dropped off here in Knoxville, Tn for the first time and I am having to acclimate myself to living here. I can't really describe it. I feel like while I was in Pemba this summer, the Lord rewired every intricate piece of me. I feel as though my heart is beating to a new beat, the rhythm of His heart. I feel His heart when it is breaking. I feel His heart when He is rejoicing in gladness over me or the place that I am in. I am so much more aware of my surroundings, my words, my thoughts, my friends, the routines of my everyday life. Everything is in a different light.



I feel like the Lord stripped me of all that I had ever known while in Pemba. He stripped me of it all and then filled me with only HIS truth. Since I have been home, it has been hard for me to make all that I learned and experienced this summer my own. I have felt like I was a tornado picking up all kinds of junk, that then serves no purpose other than clouding my heart and mind as I spin around and around trying to figure out where I am suppose to be going and where my place is. Today, the Lord reminded me that I don't have to know where I am going, because He does. He reminded me that I am His daughter and that alone is what will lead me. His deep love is what will move me into motion each and everyday.